3 Tips For The Ultimate Kid DVD

Every year I make a DVD of my daughter. I've used them as Christmas presents for about four years now...

Not only are they fun to shoot and assemble, but my family loves to get them!

The DVD consists of pictures, videos, drawings and other fun stuff that I get throughout the year.

I know, I usually write about "woo-woo" or a little more "esoteric" stuff... but hey, I'm a practical guy too! ha ha!

The DVD's are great because it's a unique and intimate way to share your child with the rest of your family, especially family that lives far away. If you already have a digital camera it's an inexpensive way to create a special gift and (most importantly) it allows you to be able to document your child's history for THEM!

So, that being said, I wanted to give you a three tips and pointers about making a DVD of your child... and I encourage you to document as much as you can... we can't get this time back with our children and these memories are amazing!

The 365 Concept

I have an idea that I got from Flickr... It's called "365".

And the idea of it being called "365" is that there are 365 days in a year!

Each day I take a picture of my daughter in the same place (the same location).

In our house, it's next to the entry-way closet.

The reason I chose that location is that there is a darkly colored door knob against a white door. This way, no matter what she's wearing you can see her perfectly...

And more importantly, the door knob is a "height" indicator.

In other words, you can easily see her growth from one month to the next!

This is a cool project that takes about 30 seconds a DAY! The pictures quickly add up and you'll start to notice subtle differences between the weeks. Throw these pictures into a "slideshow" and you're ready to go!

Naming Conventions

Naming conventions are like Ice Cream. We all have our favorite way to do it, and none of them are "wrong".

I'd like to suggest a date based naming convention. It's taken me a couple years (no pun intended) to arrive at this one, but it's a good one!

The reason I find this important is because, especially when you are doing a DVD that's based around a child growing up, you want things to be in chronological order.

That being said I start off with the date first, starting with the year. I then follow it up with a description.

So, being that today is May 29th, today's pictures and drawings are going to be labeled "20080529".

If it's a 365 picture, I'd label it like this: "20080529_365".

Since each 365 picture only contains 1 per day, I'm done.

But say we were at the park and I got a picture of her with a puppy... I wanted to put it into a different location that the 365, but needed to label it.

It would be the same date order, so "20080529" followed by the description of a puppy. It might look like this:

"20080529_PuppyPark.jpg"

This way, when you see them consecutively in a folder and arrange "by name" you can't get them out of order!

Yes!

Scanning And Sharing

Another great tip is to save and scan all pictures that you child draws. If your child is under the age of 8 you'll notice that their pictures vary heavily from the beginning of the year to the end...

And seeing this change is pretty awesome. You can see your child develop from month to month, each picture getting more detailed than the other.

Pretty soon the people's faces have features, like eyes and ears...

Puppies soon have long noses and long tails!

And keeping these in order will show the progress your little artist is making!

You'll also want to pre-determine the 'cut off' date for your DVD.

In my case, my daughter's birthday is December 1st, so I know that right after her birthday I need to start assembling the DVD in order to make it by the "Christmas Present" deadline!

Once you find something that works for you, I know you'll stick to it and in no time you'll have the most incredible DVD you've ever made!

I encourage you to take a few minutes and plan this out... and if you have any specific questions, I'd love to talk about them. You can write at Cliff@SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com.

So, as you're preparing to make the most important home movies of your life, remember that we're in this together, learning lessons along the way.

Talk to you soon,

Investing and the Single Parent

Recently one of the many things I've been getting into is "investing"...

And like most things, I research as much as I possibly can before making an informed decision.

Investing and finances is no exception... and while I don't personally have a lot of money to invest, I do put away a little bit from each paycheck.

And trust me, I am the first person to admit that I'm NOT an expert when it comes to investing.

However, I did write a bonus book that's a companion to my Single Parent Survival Guide book that talks about investing for your child. It's got some great tips about investing, creating Wills and other important things to make sure your child is taken care of.

Today as I was researching some inexpensive investments I wanted to share with you a Single Parenting tip.

What I shared in that book is what I've personally done for my daughter...

Being that I am not an expert, I wanted to consult someone who was.

This lead me to setup a meeting with a Financial Advisor.... someone who knows how to listen to my goals and help me invest in the best things to meet them.

When I sat down with a Financial Advisor he tried to sell me a "college fund".

This is all well and good, but then it hit me...

What if my daughter wants to go to a "trade school", like to become an Auto Mechanic or a Hair Dresser?

I mean, hey, it's 2008 and she's going to be 20 in the year 2023!

There was one alternative that I found called the UGMA... That's just fancy financial talk for the "Uniform Gift To Minors" act... It's basically a custodial fund for minors...

The financial advisor agreed that considering our circumstances, this was the best way to invest money for my daughter.

It gives her the flexibility to do what she wants with the money... And since my daughter is currently four years old, chances are she won't be touching the money any time soon.

As with most investments, there are good aspects and there are not so good aspects.

In fact, I have yet to find an investment that doesn't have risk!

If you'd like to research this one a bit further, check out the Wikipedia page for the UGMA.

Of course, you'll want to take into MANY considerations... such as what you can afford to invest (after you've invested in yourself), your child's age and how soon they'll reach a time when they can touch the money and as it fits into your monthly budget.

I recommend taking some time to think about investing for your child... It will lay a healthy attitude about money and give them a financial "buffer" when they are ready to leave home, go to college or start a career.

So, as you're investing for your child and your child's future, remember that we're in this together, learning lessons along the way.

Talk to you soon,

Oh yeah, in this blog I mentioned my book about preparing for your child's financial future. I should let you know that it's a bonus book when you download The Single Parent Survival Guide. If you'd like to learn more about my Book and the bonus books it comes with, check it out here.

Emotionally Intelligent Questions

I spoke in my Podcast recently about something called "Emotional Intelligence"...

And just to recap, it's one of those things that can't be taught... Just like having "street smarts" can't be taught... there are a few things in life that you simply learn on your own.

I was thinking about this in relation to being a Single Parent, and what that meant to me personally.

It's those moments of reflection where I get my best ideas or find a way to overcome a particular challenge.

But I also made a discovery recently that I wanted to share with you...

And this applies both directly to the day-to-day grind of Single Parenting as well as a more "esoteric", "put a pot of coffee on and let's have an all night dicussion"... ha ha.

I talk about this in my book, but it's worth mentioning in a little more detail here.

And that's the concept of Self-Language based on the questions you ask yourself.

I know, I know... this sounds a little "woo woo" on the surface, but having the ability to morph your reality via your language is quite amazing!

Not only is it amazing (and I'm not using that word lightly), it can change the state you're feeling in literally seconds once you've mastered it!

So, let me give you a real world example how this applies to YOU:

Let's say that you're dropping off your daughter at your Ex-Partner's house. You quickly find a place to park and without even thinking about it, you forget to feed the parking meter.

After even just a quick exchange and making sure your daughter is comfortable you arrive back at your car to discover a parking ticket!

And not only did you forget to pay the 25 cents for parking, you accidently parked over the line!

Now you hold in your had a ticket for $48.00!! And it's due before your next payday!

Yikes!

It's at this time that you start to feel your chest get tight and maybe you feel pressure in your forearms... Then the "language machine" kicks on in your head...

"Man, I should have... "... or

"Ugh... If I only I'd "...

You get the point.

When you FEEL this coming on immediately STOP. Pay attention to your state and realize that you're slipping into a negative place.

All of sudden you feel dull and start to think about how putting in a quarter in a machine would have saved you from having to pay a ticket.

In this particular example, think of it as your contribution... take the negative state and turn it positive.

So, the emotionally intelligent question you'd ask yourself is more like a statement in this case:

"Okay, so I messed up... no biggie. I'm now making sure that my daughter has a place to play in the park... It's my little bit of financial contribution back to my city."

And this might sound like simply "thinking positively" about a situation... and in a sense, it is, but in this case you are giving your internal language a positve place to reside in... a state where you've shifted your initial negative thought pattern and replaced it with a positive one!

Okay, now that you have a sense of this, let's do an example how this applies to your children...

Say that you just poured a glass of Orange Juice. Your four year old daughter is in the living room and is watching cartoons...

She isnt' paying attention and accidently spills over the orange juice all over the new carpet.

Of course, your instant raction is to get angry and clean up the spill yourself.

And this is natural... I mean, hey, that's exactly what my parents would have done.

In this case I'd grab a few towels and request that my daughter help me clean it up... All the while saying "Accidents happen and let's be more careful when we have juice in the living room".

When it comes to discpline for something like that, a "good" kid is going to beat themselves up more that you ever could.

Of course, keep in mind that this is contextual... I'm not advocating avoiding discipline... As you already know, discipline is effective for some instances... and in this example, spilling the juice was an accident.

The bottom line comes down to this... when you feel states of negativity creeping up, and you're aware this is happening, the emotionally intelligent answer is to change the questions and statements you are telling yourself.

So, as your carefully asking yourself the "real" questions within the proper context, remember that we're in this together, learning lessons along the way.

I'll talk to you soon,

Daily Discipline - Conquering Your Day

This week I've been talking about starting the day off right... and why it's important to lay a foundation for the day that leaves you ready to be productive.

I shared some very specific tips about things I do to make sure that my day is focused, my mind is the proper space and get ready for the upcoming day... This was in a blog from last week.

I got some really positive feedback after reposting to my favorite site iHeartSingleParents.com, so I decided to write more about waking up and starting a productive day...

In fact, what I failed to mention was that a good MEAL needs to be involved...

Just to recap some of the things I've been doing, I drink water immediately after waking up... and I then do my 10-10-10 (ten sit-ups, ten push-ups and crunches)... all before even LEAVING my bedroom.

The next step is two-fold, but I need to frame it into the correct context for ya...

After I'm done with the water and quick exercise "ritual" I then make myself a quick meal. I have been using the Isagenix shake mix. It's a "meal replacer" with all the vitamins and nutrients packed into it... I've also been sneaking a banana into the blender before I drink it too, just for some extra "zing".

It's at this point I've been starting my day... still conscious of not checking email or even looking at my mobile phone until I'm ready to actually start work (but I'll get into that in another post).

I also follow-up with a small snack at around three hours into my day... Currently, this consists of Peanut Butter toast or a handful of nuts. This is for sustaining the feeling of being productive and so far it's working!

If you're already trying this, congratulations... I'd love to hear from you and I highly value feedback.

I want to really encourage you that if you STICK WITH IT and discipline yourself, you will feel much better.

And even if you're more of a "night person", this is still going to benefit you because we all need rest... and we all need to slow down a little bit right after we wake up

The deal is this... even if it takes an extra 20 minutes to wake up and get this done, it's worth it.

Think of it as INVESTING IN YOURSELF... You are taking time for you, before your kids get up, and being able to focus on yourself.

And I'm going to take it even a step further... If you follow this and lay that solid foundation for a good day, your family is going to see and feel this, so yes, you are even investing in YOUR FAMILY!

So, what do YOU do in your morning? Do you have any secrets or tips that you could share? This week I'm starting something new with a bit of yoga. The results have been good and I look forward to sharing even more about that with you soon.

As your starting your day right, laying the foundation for being productive, remember that we're in this together, learning lessons along the way!

Talk to you soon,

Making Up The Rules As We Go Along...

The other night I was watching three other kids besides my daughter… This was a grand total of four kids. Not a rare occasion, but a blessing nonetheless!

And on this warm spring evening I made an observation that was pretty keen… at least on my part.

I mean, hey, if you’re not going to toot your own horn, who is?

Parents with kids over the age of five are going to laugh at me, but hey, I can take it! ha ha!
See, I even laughed at myself.

Okay, back to the story…

I was watching three of them, all girls, make up a game.

In this game, the eldest girl (who is 9) was the “zookeeper”… She’s one of those girls who is pretty advanced emotionally for her age and already displays “mothering” sort of traits.

The Zookeeper told the four, six and seven year old where to sit on the couch and which cushin was their “cage”.

The other girls picked out which animals they wanted to be… one was a horse, one was a seal and the four year old went from being a snake to a bird to another horse.

Anyway, there was a certain amount of freedom contained within this “game”.

As most girls play together, it started off simple…

The Zookeeper had to take care of the animals, so naturally feeding was one of the aspects of the game.

Next it was walking the animals, so one by one each girl… er… animal was taken out of their cage and paraded in front of the others.

Pretty soon, each animal noise meant a certain thing… so, for example, a single horse “neigh” meant that the horse was hungry, two “neigh”s meant that the horse needed sleep and three “neigh”s meant that the horse needed to walk around outside of the cage.

Soon, even I was confused as to what each amount of sounds meant…

But thie kids seem pretty “in touch” with it, constantly reminding the other of the ‘rules’ of the game.

And then it dawned on me… wouldn’t it be “crazy” if life were like this?

The funny thing is that as Single Parents, we want to make up the rules as we go along.

And while it might not be as simple as playing “zookeeper”, there are certain things we WANT to control… Say dating the cute Barista at the coffeeshop or asking the bank teller what he thinks about your new shoes.

These might seem like tiny things, seemingly insignificant on the surface, but could blossom into the **possibility** of a successful date, a workout partner or even a marriage!

I am here to encourage you to keep in mind that while we can’t change the past, but we CAN change the future… We can create the future we want for us and for our kids.

So, in a sense, we CAN change the rules as we go along.

So, as you’re considering changing the rules as you go along keep in mind that we’re in this together learning lessons along the way.

I’ll talk to you soon,

Cliff

http://www.SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com/

New Podcast About Social Networking Sites, Sharing Your Story and Emotional Intelligence

I uploaded a new Podcast tonight about Social Networking Sites, Sharing Your Story and Emotional Intelligence...

It's sort of a combination of bringing together several ideas about learning that I've been writing about on this blog...

You can subscribe to my Podcast through iTunes by clicking here...

Talk to you tomorrow,

Cliff

The Cycle of Distraction - And Something To Do About It!

As much as I like to avoid the “negative” there is something that I have to get off my chest…

And no, it’s not a “Bad Tattoo” or a reference to a Springtime cold! ha ha!

I am convinced that we live in a “cycle of distraction”…

And what I mean is that amid the flurry of MySpace Comments, buying Ring Tones and eMail, it’s hard to stay focused on the tasks of the day, let alone make long-term plans for success as a Single Parent…

While some of this might not directly affect you, it’s more of an observation about the culture that we live in.

I even find myself getting caught up obsessively checking email and thinking about my response to a challenge at work when I’m hanging out with my daughter.

The long and the short of it is, even if we don’t “buy into” the fast-paced lifestyle that this “virtual world” presents, is is around us and CAN affect us.

So, what’s a Single Parent to do?

Well, I wanted to share with you something that I’ve been experimenting with that might help you.

And that’s starting the day right.

I’ve found that in the past when I roll out of bed and those bare feet hit the floor, I’m immediately overwhelmed with my day. It could be checking email from my phone while I’m running downstairs or it could be seeing some mail on the kitchen counter right when I get up… The point is that there are these tiny “distracters” that sink their teeth into me while I’m waking up.

So, what have I done to remedy this?

First off, I thought to myself that I needed a bit of clarity in the morning… I needed to be able to focus and begin the day without feeling like there was pressure or that the demands of the week were going to come crashing over me.

This lead me to think about health. I start off with a glass of water, 16 oz. to be precise. I prepare this the night before and leave it next to my nightstand. This allows me to not start off dehydrated and I have a lesser chance of getting a headache.

I then do something I called “10-10-10″.

I even wrote this on a piece of paper and stuck it under the water on my nightstand as a reminder.

I do 10 sit-ups, 10 push ups and 10 “crunches” when I get up. I usually do these AFTER I drink my water, but more importantly, I do these both before even LEAVING MY ROOM…

I have to admit that usually having to go to the bathroom is a motivator to get these done.
And the funny thing is that these are small things… These are tiny little things that take less than 7 minutes to do… but are of HIGH value because they make the day start off right.
I am finding that I’m more focused and able to not be immediately distracted by the things around me. I try to wake up before my daughter and her friend get up in order to focus on MYSELF.

I also have a few other things I’m working on in order to start the day much more aware that I’m “real world” testing, but for now, try these two things…

They are simple, quick and really make a tremendous difference for your day!

So, as you’re breaking your own “cycle of distraction”, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way…

I’ll talk to you soon,

C