Here is the Northwest, we LOVE our coffee…
And yeah, I know, Starbucks took over the world and kinda let our little “secret” about the hot water and beans out of the bag… But that’s okay.
Anyway, we have TONS of these drive-thru coffee places up here where you can get everything from a REALLY strong cup of coffee to the sweetest “foo-foo” sugary drink that you can imagine.
And yes, this goes along with the “snack-sized” life I talked about the other day… ALMOST in the same context…
But enough of that, back to my story.
I was in a close-by town and pulled into the coffee place. With a couple dollars in my hand I rolled down the window in anticipation of getting the hot “pick me up” that I wanted so bad…
The Barista was a good looking guy in his mid-20’s who immediately started asking me a thousand questions… Like “What are you doing today?”, “How often do you come here?” and everything else you could think of in the 30 seconds it takes to pour a cup of coffee.
It was almost unbearable because it was felt like he was being overly friendly on purpose.
I INSTANTLY started to make up a story in my head: Maybe he was having a great day and this was how it was coming out… Maybe he just got yelled at by his boss and needed to work on his “customer service” skills…
Really, for me, I felt almost patronized that he was being WAYYY too friendly. I felt myself starting to actually get offended by his over the top questions and seemingly (to me) “fake” concern.
I answered what I thought was appropriate and went on my way.
But it stuck with me… And it actually made a negative impression on me!
And this got me thinking… Can you really feel the “motivation” behind someone’s request? Can you get a “vibe” or a sense of something that doesn’t feel right?
Of course the answer is yes…
Okay, you might be asking yourself, how does this apply to dealing with my children…
And that’s a good question.
I believe that any child above the age of about 3 can sense a sort of “tone” behind your words… or better put, they have a natural instinct when it comes to getting a “vibe” about what you’re talking about.
This doesn’t mean that they actually DO something about it, nor do they judge it, but they do have insight that can prove to be interesting.
If you doubt this, ask your child when something like this happens… Like “hmmm… do you think they really meant it?” or whatever the situation requires.
Of course this doesn’t mean that you need to watch everything you say or that everything you do is going to be placed under a microscope.
Consider this a gentle reminder that kids are smarter than we think! ha ha!
What do you think? Have you had a similar experience as I did?
So, as we’re staying true to ourselves in our language remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
http://SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com
Friday, April 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Bite-Sized Culture: A Life Of Snacking
It’s too easy to be critical of the way things are in society…
I mean, let’s face it, there is alot of unrest in the country, wars are being fought on the Internet (and in the real world) and our kids are faced with many challenges that we didn’t have to deal with until we were in our 20’s…
Okay, enough with the ‘negative’ talk…
One of the reasons I wrote the Single Parent Survival Guide is because I wanted to make a difference… I wanted to make a difference in the lives of those around me and in the lives of everyone I come into contact with.
And I’ve been thinking alot about how society, especially the Internet world I’m involved with, is moving so fast that it’s almost dizzying!
In fact, I’m going to go so far as to say that we live in a “snack sized” culture… It seems that everything comes in “bite sized” pieces that are easy to digest.
I mean, come on, instead of buying albums we buy songs on iTunes… And if that isn’t enough, we then buy just the ring-tone instead of the song.
People, for the most part, are demanding more and that things be literally “instant”.
I don’t want to even expend the energy to think about what this means as a society, but I wanted to turn this around and use these thoughts as an opportunity to remind us how important being a parent is and how much of an impact you really have on your child.
Amid all the MySpace comments, emails and text’s that your child receives, do they know that they are loved? Do they know that they are the most important thing in your life and you’d do anything for them?
Chances are they do, but maybe take just a few minutes out today to tell your child how much you love them and how much they mean to you.
Even if it doesn’t appear that it’s making a difference, it will… Maybe not now, but it will be something that’s remembered when they are depressed or feeling sad.
It might not seem like it’s making an impact, but I assure you that it is!
I’ll be thinking more about this in the next few weeks as I am testing some special ways to let kids know they are loved.
So, as your taking the time today to “buck” the “snack-sized” culture, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way.
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
Monday, April 21, 2008
The Unknown About Parenting
Last week I shared with you some deep stuff about your Path and your Purpose…
And while I didn’t plan on having a “weekly theme”, I did think that it was a bit much to cram into a single blog.
But when I get “moved” I need to start writing it out!
It also was something that was originally inspired by a quote I saw at the bottom of an email. (I believe that I talked about this in last Monday’s blog).
So, it’s really funny where we find inspiration and creation… I mean, it’s really all around us at all times… Sometimes we don’t see it nor do we even know that we’re being creative! ha ha!
And being a Single Parent, I’m sure that you can relate to “tapping into” a stream of creation (or creativity) many times during the day.
Maybe it’s the packing of a lunch, like drawing a smily face on the sack, or it’s the ‘make believe’ legos creation where a couple blocks stuck together is a space ship and your stomach is the Moon! ha ha!
In fact, I bet you can more than just simply “relate” to being creative, you LIVE it!
And what a GREAT place to be!
So, if you are reading this right now and have no idea what I’m talking about, think about the last five interactions you’ve had with your child. Think about the times when you were really focused on them and really got into what they were playing.
And this reminds me of something else… and yes, it’s another quote!
Awhile ago I was listening to Deepak Chopra and he said something that’s stuck with me for quite awhile… That was “The Unknown Is Just Another Way To Get Creative“…
I believe the context was relating directly to problems and challenges… but as Single Parents, this applies to tapping into the creativity that’s around us too.
Now, I’m sure that you’re not **afraid** of the unknown… I mean, you really are a Super Single Parent, eh? That takes alot of prowess and skill that you NATURALLY have…
But I’m sure that you at least KNOW someone who is afraid of the Unknown…
And can you remember back to the first time you realized that you were going to be a Parent?
Or, better yet, do you remember the first time you held your child in your arms? Those were part of the “unknown”, right??
Here’s another example… and it’s a funny one that I’m sure you can relate to…
Like many four year olds, my daughter LIVES within this realm of creation and imagination…
She often sets up her stuffed animals and asks me to come in her room. She then gives me directions and tells me the role I’m playing…
Often it’s “pet store man”, where she leaves the room and shuts the door. She then knocks on the door, comes in and starts to peruse the “pets”.
After thinking about it, she weights the options and makes an educated “purchase”… usually choosing her favorite rabbit over the puppy and a tower of pre-built legos. (Yes, legos in our house can be a pet!)
Really, the point here is that creativity surrounds us.
And the “unknown” aspects of parenting are only stumbling blocks that are “pre-created” by our minds.
Not only are you a SUPER Single Parent, you are a SAVVY Single Parent who can take on anything that comes your way, even if it’s something that seems incredibly challenging at first. I encourage you to embrace those feelings of fear when it comes to the “unknown” and use your natural intelligence to overcome them with velocity!
So, as you are creating your Parenthood in the “unknown”, remember that we’re in this together learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
http://SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com/
And while I didn’t plan on having a “weekly theme”, I did think that it was a bit much to cram into a single blog.
But when I get “moved” I need to start writing it out!
It also was something that was originally inspired by a quote I saw at the bottom of an email. (I believe that I talked about this in last Monday’s blog).
So, it’s really funny where we find inspiration and creation… I mean, it’s really all around us at all times… Sometimes we don’t see it nor do we even know that we’re being creative! ha ha!
And being a Single Parent, I’m sure that you can relate to “tapping into” a stream of creation (or creativity) many times during the day.
Maybe it’s the packing of a lunch, like drawing a smily face on the sack, or it’s the ‘make believe’ legos creation where a couple blocks stuck together is a space ship and your stomach is the Moon! ha ha!
In fact, I bet you can more than just simply “relate” to being creative, you LIVE it!
And what a GREAT place to be!
So, if you are reading this right now and have no idea what I’m talking about, think about the last five interactions you’ve had with your child. Think about the times when you were really focused on them and really got into what they were playing.
And this reminds me of something else… and yes, it’s another quote!
Awhile ago I was listening to Deepak Chopra and he said something that’s stuck with me for quite awhile… That was “The Unknown Is Just Another Way To Get Creative“…
I believe the context was relating directly to problems and challenges… but as Single Parents, this applies to tapping into the creativity that’s around us too.
Now, I’m sure that you’re not **afraid** of the unknown… I mean, you really are a Super Single Parent, eh? That takes alot of prowess and skill that you NATURALLY have…
But I’m sure that you at least KNOW someone who is afraid of the Unknown…
And can you remember back to the first time you realized that you were going to be a Parent?
Or, better yet, do you remember the first time you held your child in your arms? Those were part of the “unknown”, right??
Here’s another example… and it’s a funny one that I’m sure you can relate to…
Like many four year olds, my daughter LIVES within this realm of creation and imagination…
She often sets up her stuffed animals and asks me to come in her room. She then gives me directions and tells me the role I’m playing…
Often it’s “pet store man”, where she leaves the room and shuts the door. She then knocks on the door, comes in and starts to peruse the “pets”.
After thinking about it, she weights the options and makes an educated “purchase”… usually choosing her favorite rabbit over the puppy and a tower of pre-built legos. (Yes, legos in our house can be a pet!)
Really, the point here is that creativity surrounds us.
And the “unknown” aspects of parenting are only stumbling blocks that are “pre-created” by our minds.
Not only are you a SUPER Single Parent, you are a SAVVY Single Parent who can take on anything that comes your way, even if it’s something that seems incredibly challenging at first. I encourage you to embrace those feelings of fear when it comes to the “unknown” and use your natural intelligence to overcome them with velocity!
So, as you are creating your Parenthood in the “unknown”, remember that we’re in this together learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
http://SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com/
Sharing Your Parenting Path and Purpose
Well, we’re at the end of another week…
And I’ve laid some pretty heavy stuff on you when it comes to knowing your Path and your Purpose in life as a Single Parent.
I also defined what those mean for me, why I think it’s important to know these and I even shared my OWN Path and Purpose!
And now I’m going to take this a step further…
But before I do, I want to encourage you to really THINK about this one.
This stuff didn’t come OVERNIGHT to me, nor do I expect you to come to a full realization of your Path and your Purpose from just a couple blog entries!
So, before I give more insight into how to really make your path and purpose work for you, I wanted to mention that it’s okay to take some time and dwell on these…
Okay, enough of that…
Where this REALLY comes into play and hits home, is when you start to SHARE your Path and Purpose with others…
There’s alot of POWER in sharing… especially something so intimate and close to you.
You see, when others are “in tune” with your mission (the combination of your Path and your Purpose), it then moves BEYOND you and into the realm of knowledge for others… This might sound a little “woo woo” on the surface, but the reality is that it’s through the sharing with others and the verbal accountabiliy that naturally arises that you can STAY on your path!
And if you share and they “blow you off” or don’t seem to really care, don’t take it personally…
I’d imagine that it’s not their intention to make you feel that way, but it might happen.
If it does, it’s not about you… They either don’t “get it” or they don’t WANT to get it.
Just keep in mind that this isn’t a reflection on YOU.
So, take some time this weekend to think about your Path and your Purpose in life…
Think about how it relates to your children, your job, your relationships and all the other aspects of your busy life. Reflect on what’s important to you as your a parent, a mentor and a role-model to your children.
Oh yeah, and if you have any questions or need some support, please feel free to write me directly…
My email address is Cliff@SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com… I’d love to hear from you about your story, your success or your struggle…
So, as we’re sharing our Path and our Purpose with others, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
http://SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com
And I’ve laid some pretty heavy stuff on you when it comes to knowing your Path and your Purpose in life as a Single Parent.
I also defined what those mean for me, why I think it’s important to know these and I even shared my OWN Path and Purpose!
And now I’m going to take this a step further…
But before I do, I want to encourage you to really THINK about this one.
This stuff didn’t come OVERNIGHT to me, nor do I expect you to come to a full realization of your Path and your Purpose from just a couple blog entries!
So, before I give more insight into how to really make your path and purpose work for you, I wanted to mention that it’s okay to take some time and dwell on these…
Okay, enough of that…
Where this REALLY comes into play and hits home, is when you start to SHARE your Path and Purpose with others…
There’s alot of POWER in sharing… especially something so intimate and close to you.
You see, when others are “in tune” with your mission (the combination of your Path and your Purpose), it then moves BEYOND you and into the realm of knowledge for others… This might sound a little “woo woo” on the surface, but the reality is that it’s through the sharing with others and the verbal accountabiliy that naturally arises that you can STAY on your path!
And if you share and they “blow you off” or don’t seem to really care, don’t take it personally…
I’d imagine that it’s not their intention to make you feel that way, but it might happen.
If it does, it’s not about you… They either don’t “get it” or they don’t WANT to get it.
Just keep in mind that this isn’t a reflection on YOU.
So, take some time this weekend to think about your Path and your Purpose in life…
Think about how it relates to your children, your job, your relationships and all the other aspects of your busy life. Reflect on what’s important to you as your a parent, a mentor and a role-model to your children.
Oh yeah, and if you have any questions or need some support, please feel free to write me directly…
My email address is Cliff@SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com… I’d love to hear from you about your story, your success or your struggle…
So, as we’re sharing our Path and our Purpose with others, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
http://SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com
The Evolving Parenting Path
This week I’ve been discussing Path and Purpose… and I even shared yesterday how I was inspired by a tag line from an email I’d received… just proving that this “higher idea” of having a purpose and a defined path is all around us!
I also shared my purpose with you… and if you’ve ever taken the chance and shared something with anohter person, you can relate to how liberating of a feeling it is to be authentic and real!
So, really, sharing is for BOTH of us…
I believe that the Path and Purpose are equally as important… and you might have one figured out before the other… if this is the case, don’t worry about it, the other will come soon.
And the reason I say that the other will come soon is because they work congruently with each other.
Okay, enough with the reasons… You’re probably wondering **what is my “path”**?
So, you’re PATH itself is the 30,000 foot view, so to speak… but you’re looking at Google Maps.
In other words, its the overview that will take you to your purpose.
Think of your path as being the thing that contains the WAY to get to something (*your purpose*) and the roadmap to make it.
It’s the direction you are going, but it’s also more than that… Knowing your path will give you a sort of “filter” in which your pupose can live.
Yesterday I shared with you my Purpose, so, today I am going to share with you my path…
And please keep in mind that this is incredibly personal and it fits me right now…
My Path in life is Evolution, constantly and consciously evolving.
This might sound a bit generic on the surface, but if you really think about it for awhile it will start to sink in…
And you know what works really well for me?
I put something “down” for awhile and come back to it later… if it still makes sense, I keep it…
And if it’s really good, I start to take it on other *levels*…. and those are the good ones!
So, as you can imagine, I didn’t arrive at this overnight. It took some time to come to this particular thought, get the phrasing correct so that it encompassed excactly what my thoughts were, and then I simply made it my own.
Be thinking about what’s important to you and how you want to get there… when you start to see similarities and they naturally begin to bridge together, you’re on your way.
Being a Single Parent, I really encourage you to think about this and find YOUR place… We have the common thread of raising children on our own, but our stories are unique and special in their own way.
As your Parenting Path is becoming more clear to you remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
http://SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com
I also shared my purpose with you… and if you’ve ever taken the chance and shared something with anohter person, you can relate to how liberating of a feeling it is to be authentic and real!
So, really, sharing is for BOTH of us…
I believe that the Path and Purpose are equally as important… and you might have one figured out before the other… if this is the case, don’t worry about it, the other will come soon.
And the reason I say that the other will come soon is because they work congruently with each other.
Okay, enough with the reasons… You’re probably wondering **what is my “path”**?
So, you’re PATH itself is the 30,000 foot view, so to speak… but you’re looking at Google Maps.
In other words, its the overview that will take you to your purpose.
Think of your path as being the thing that contains the WAY to get to something (*your purpose*) and the roadmap to make it.
It’s the direction you are going, but it’s also more than that… Knowing your path will give you a sort of “filter” in which your pupose can live.
Yesterday I shared with you my Purpose, so, today I am going to share with you my path…
And please keep in mind that this is incredibly personal and it fits me right now…
My Path in life is Evolution, constantly and consciously evolving.
This might sound a bit generic on the surface, but if you really think about it for awhile it will start to sink in…
And you know what works really well for me?
I put something “down” for awhile and come back to it later… if it still makes sense, I keep it…
And if it’s really good, I start to take it on other *levels*…. and those are the good ones!
So, as you can imagine, I didn’t arrive at this overnight. It took some time to come to this particular thought, get the phrasing correct so that it encompassed excactly what my thoughts were, and then I simply made it my own.
Be thinking about what’s important to you and how you want to get there… when you start to see similarities and they naturally begin to bridge together, you’re on your way.
Being a Single Parent, I really encourage you to think about this and find YOUR place… We have the common thread of raising children on our own, but our stories are unique and special in their own way.
As your Parenting Path is becoming more clear to you remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
http://SingleParentSurvivalGuide.com
Path, Purpose and Parenting
Last week I mentioned something passively in the “predict the future” blog that I wanted to go back and address.
The “thing” I seemingly glossed over was the mention of your path and your purpose.
And while, yes, this blog is about Single Parenting, I wanted to clean up this notion of the path and purpose. Both affect you as a Parent and when they are aligned, it’s amazing…
They are two distinct things, but both very important to talk about.
But before I get too into this, I wanted to mention that the foundation of my original philosophy is that if you aren’t put together, your family will reflect that…
So, your path is what you “do”… Think of your path as being your lot in life, but the WAY that you get to your purpose.
In other words, your path isn’t your job, what kind of clothes you wear or who you hang out with… those are all “external” things that (in a way) relate to your path, but don’t define it.
To be on your path, and keep in mind that there is no PROPER path, only what’s important to YOU, you must know your purpose.
Your Purpose is the reason you do the things you do… Here’s an example:
My purpose in life is helping other’s succeed.
By being the person who knows his purpose, I can define what is important to me and where I put my energy. A good example of knowing my purpose - and if my purpose is helping others - is writing this blog… I have taken the time out of my day to write down my ideas and share them with you…
The negative flip-side to this is taking it on a literal level: Taken out of context this could mean loaning money to people when I don’t have it or pushing myself so hard that if other’s don’t succeed, I consider myself a failure… this is an example of not having a purpose defined properly.
I’ve also observed that when you know your path and your purpose you have a tendency to DRAW people towards you that can assist you… It allows you to be more “in tune” with what you are doing and you automatically focus on the things that really matter.
You see, when you know your path and purpose in life, and you are in alignment with it, you are like an unstoppable machine, both consciously and unconsciously… But I’ll save the “esoteric” stuff for another blog this week!
And you know how it’s kinda “funny” and “scary in a good way” when those little coincidences happen??
Well, literally AS I WAS WRITING this blog I got an email from a wonderful mommy who is subscribed to my Newsletter…
We were talking about how kids do amazing things and how great it was to observe the funny things kids do… And at the end of her mail was the tag line “true happiness is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”
First off, that’s a GREAT quote… and applicable to ALL of us on many different levels.
Secondly, it went along perfectly with what I was writing about in today’s blog!
This week I’ll be sharing with you a little more how I found my path and my purpose… and fleshing out those ideas a little more.
So, as your figuring out YOUR path and YOUR purpose in life, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
The “thing” I seemingly glossed over was the mention of your path and your purpose.
And while, yes, this blog is about Single Parenting, I wanted to clean up this notion of the path and purpose. Both affect you as a Parent and when they are aligned, it’s amazing…
They are two distinct things, but both very important to talk about.
But before I get too into this, I wanted to mention that the foundation of my original philosophy is that if you aren’t put together, your family will reflect that…
This means that it’s important that you pay attention to your health, both physical and mental… and when you have a clear and defined path that you’re on and a distinct purpose for your life, you are like a laser: Unstoppable!
So, your path is what you “do”… Think of your path as being your lot in life, but the WAY that you get to your purpose.
In other words, your path isn’t your job, what kind of clothes you wear or who you hang out with… those are all “external” things that (in a way) relate to your path, but don’t define it.
To be on your path, and keep in mind that there is no PROPER path, only what’s important to YOU, you must know your purpose.
Your Purpose is the reason you do the things you do… Here’s an example:
My purpose in life is helping other’s succeed.
By being the person who knows his purpose, I can define what is important to me and where I put my energy. A good example of knowing my purpose - and if my purpose is helping others - is writing this blog… I have taken the time out of my day to write down my ideas and share them with you…
The negative flip-side to this is taking it on a literal level: Taken out of context this could mean loaning money to people when I don’t have it or pushing myself so hard that if other’s don’t succeed, I consider myself a failure… this is an example of not having a purpose defined properly.
I’ve also observed that when you know your path and your purpose you have a tendency to DRAW people towards you that can assist you… It allows you to be more “in tune” with what you are doing and you automatically focus on the things that really matter.
You see, when you know your path and purpose in life, and you are in alignment with it, you are like an unstoppable machine, both consciously and unconsciously… But I’ll save the “esoteric” stuff for another blog this week!
And you know how it’s kinda “funny” and “scary in a good way” when those little coincidences happen??
Well, literally AS I WAS WRITING this blog I got an email from a wonderful mommy who is subscribed to my Newsletter…
We were talking about how kids do amazing things and how great it was to observe the funny things kids do… And at the end of her mail was the tag line “true happiness is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”
First off, that’s a GREAT quote… and applicable to ALL of us on many different levels.
Secondly, it went along perfectly with what I was writing about in today’s blog!
This week I’ll be sharing with you a little more how I found my path and my purpose… and fleshing out those ideas a little more.
So, as your figuring out YOUR path and YOUR purpose in life, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!
Talk to you soon,
Cliff
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
